Historical Posts
What Can I Do To Make My Marriage Happy
The best advice on how to make a happy marriage is in the New Testament.
Although most people in troubled relationships look elsewhere, some of the best advice on how to have a happy marriage can be found in the New Testament. The one passage that says the most on marriage is Ephesians 5:22-33. In its entirety, the passage reads as follows:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave him-self for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In these verses, Paul discussed Christ’s relationship with His church, but to make his point he revealed many inspired facts about how the husband and wife relationship is sup-posed to work in marriage. He declared that the husband is to be the “head” of the wife, in the same way that Christ is the “head” of the church (Ephesians 5:23). In His role as the Head of the church, Jesus provides for its needs (Matthew 6:33), leads it in the way it ought to go (1 Peter 2:21), and strives to keep it from falling apart (John 17:20-21). These are the same responsibilities that God has placed upon husbands, in a marriage relationship. A husband must provide for the needs of his wife (2 Timothy 5:8). He must take the lead, in guiding his family down the right spiritual path (Ephesians 6:4). He must be diligent in doing all that he can do to promote unity and harmony of his home (Matthew 19:6b). Note that Bible does not indicate, in any passage, that husbands are to be the dictators of their homes, oppressing their wives and children into submission. Some have attempted to us the Bible to justify abusive behavior, but the Bible offers no such justification. The truth is that, in today’s world, many marriages fail, because of husbands who neglect their responsibilities as the “head” of the home.
Paul also stressed that husbands are to “love” their wives, in the same way that Christ “loved” the church, pointing out that He “gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus’ love for the church was pure, absolute, and unconditional. So must a husband’s love be for his wife (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Paul reminded husbands that the love they have for their wives ought to be in proportion to the love they have for themselves; indicating that the “golden rule” ought to be observed in marriage, as in life (Ephesians 5:28-29; Matthew 7:12). Love that sustains a marriage through the years is more than just a feeling. It is a commitment that creates a symbiotic bond, which makes it seem impossible for the husband to exist without the wife and vice versa.
Paul did admonish wives to “submit” to their husbands, in the same way that the church submits to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). This does not mean that women must adopt a subservient role in their homes and marriage, having no voice in how their families are run. As a matter of fact, in situations where the husband either cannot or will not fulfill his responsibilities as “head” of the house, the wife must step up and do what needs to be done. In doing so, she fulfills her role as “keeper” of the home (Titus 2:3-5). When a husband faithfully fulfills his role as the “head” of the home, his wife must recognize that he is acting in the best interests of the family, and “submit” to his leadership. In doing so, she fulfills her role as “an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). A wife is to be supportive of her husband’s leadership in the marriage and home. This is what it means for her to “reverence” her husband. If she does not give him the support he needs, then the home may be in danger of breaking apart.
Content by Russell Kline
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Home as God Designed It: Husbands and Fathers
Home as God Designed It
Husbands and Fathers - Wives and Mothers - Children
Husbands and Fathers
The man’s role in the home, as husband and father, is frequently misunderstood in our society. God has ordained that men and women must fulfill specific roles and responsibilities, in order for the home to function properly. It seems that men struggle more than women with understanding and playing the roles that God has appointed for them, in every household.
In Ephesians 5:22-23, the Bible says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.” The husband’s role as the “head” of the house is one that is the most misunderstood. It does not mean that he is a dictator in his home, or that his wife is bound to obey his every command. It does, however, mean that he is the spiritual head of his family, and that it is his God-given responsibility to make sure that everyone in his home is on their way to Heaven (Ephesians 6:4). Many husbands in our society are unconcerned about spiritual things and are certainly not leading their families in the pathway of righteousness. If a man wants his wife and children live Christian lives, he must lead them in doing so.
Furthermore, as “head” of the house, it is the man’s God-given responsibility to provide for the material needs of his family, as well as their spiritual needs. First Timothy 5:8 Second Thessalonians 3:10 make it plain that any man who is able to work and support his family, but refuses to do so, is failing to fulfill his duty toward them and toward the Lord. For many years people have bemoaned the sad condition of our society, in which fathers abandon their families and spend all their time and resources in selfish pursuits. This sort of behavior is intolerable in a Christian home.
In Ephesians 5:33, the Bible says, “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” It is the wife’s duty to “submit to” and to “reverence” her husband. This means that she is to respect his judgment and be supportive in his guidance of the home. But, a husband who fails to lead his house in the right direction is not deserving of respect or support. A woman will respect a man who behaves as a man should, but she will not have respect for a man who is derelict in his spiritual and material responsibilities.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” – Ephesians 5:25
Is God Part of Your Family?
Families everywhere are in crisis. The integrity of what was once considered an “average” family (husband/father with wife/mother and children all living together in one house) is under assault from numerous adversaries. Many have given up on the ideals of marriage and family life, in favor of modern sensibilities. But, we don’t have to settle for anything less than the Biblical model of what “home” is all about. If you want a truly Christian home, then the first thing you need to do is make God part of your family. This happens when families make God’s Word the central focus of their lives. When the Bible is read in the home, obeyed in the home, and reverenced in the home, then the home will be as God designed it. The problem with modern families is that they are not based on God’s design for the home. Let’s all dedicate ourselves to making God part of our families. Our lives will be better for having made the effort.
Content by Russell Kline
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Questions and Answers 2010-06-27
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I. Question One – “Is Christianity a religion or a relationship? Or both?”
“A lot of my friends have been saying that Christianity is just a relationship with God. I understand that you need to go through the steps of salvation to be saved but they think you just need to pray, read the Bible, etc. So what I’m really asking is, “Is Christianity a religion or a relationship? Or both?”
A. First, we need to stress that everyone is in a relationship with God whether they realize it or not.
1. Matthew 12:30. He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.
2. One is either with God or against God. There is no middle ground.
3. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” John 14:15.
4. Jesus said…
a) John 8:24. Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins.”
b) Luke 13:3. I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish.
c) Matthew 10:32. “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.
d) Mark 16:16. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.
5. If we don’t believe or practice these things which Jesus commanded, do we love him? According to Jesus, we do not!
6. So is Christianity a relationship… I would say that it is a term that describes one’s relationship with God. If one is a Christian, then that one is in a RIGHT relationship with God.
B. Is Christianity a religion?
1. Religion – the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power.
2. In the Bible, the word for “religion” as applied to Christianity is threskeia.
a) This word focuses on the external aspect of one’s faith.
b) How one expresses his faith.
c) James 1:26-27. If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
3. So, yes, Christianity is a religion.
a) It is a belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power.
b) It is an outward expression of that belief in the way we behave.
II. Question Two – “Why did God make the earth?”
A. Wow! What a question!
B. The easiest answer is that God made the earth for us to live on! But I think the one who asked the question maybe wanted to know why God made Us.
C. Why did God make us?
1. Some things we can not know for sure.
2. We do know this. God is love. 1 John 4:8. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
a) Everything that God does issues forth from His love.
b) Therefore, I believe that God loved the idea of us.
c) God loved us before He created us.
d) Much like a man and a woman love the idea of having a child.
(1) Even before that child is conceived, they love the idea of it.
(2) Therefore, they decide to bring a child into existence.
e) Remember that God is described as our Father.
III. Question Three – “Why did God give us the Bible?”
A. God gave us the Bible as a guide. Psalm 119:105.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
B. We can’t read God’s mind, so he had to give us a book to tell us what He wants us to know. 1 Corinthians 2:9-10.
But as it is written: “ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.
C. The Bible gives us everything we need to be pleasing to God.
1. 2 Peter 1:3. As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.
2. 2 Timothy 3:16-17. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
IV. Question Four – “What constitutes worship?”
“Do we need to include the five acts that we do on Sunday for it to be true worship?”
A. The most basic definition of the word “worship” is “to show reverence and respect toward another.”
B. As the question states, God has authorized five ways in which we are to worship Him.
1. Singing. Ephesians 5:19.
2. Praying. 1 Thessalonians 5:21.
3. Bible Study. Acts 20:7.
4. The Lord’s Supper. 1 Corinthians 11:23-26.
5. Giving as we have been prospered. 1 Corinthians 16:1-2.
C. By example, we know that Christians gathered together on the first day of the week to worship. Acts 20:7; 1 Corinthians 11:18; 1 Corinthians 16:1-2.
D. However, only two of the acts of worship are LIMITED to the first day of the week.
1. Those two are giving and the Lord’s Supper.
2. We have plenty of examples of singing, praying, and Bible study being performed at other times.
a) Acts 16:25. But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them.
b) 1 Thessalonians 5:17. Pray without ceasing.
E. No, I do not believe that all five acts of worship must be present for one to be worshiping God.
1. On Wednesday evenings when we gather together, study, sing, and pray, we are worshiping God.
2. However, on the first day of the week, we need to have all five acts of worship present to be pleasing to God.
V. Question Five – “A wife is to keep silent in church but ask her husband. If a husband understands or tells her something that is not correct is she lost because of what her husband tells her?”
A. The relevant passage is 1 Corinthians 14:26-35.
How is it then, brethren? Whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. Let all things be done for edification. If anyone speaks in a tongue, let there be two or at the most three, each in turn, and let one interpret. But if there is no interpreter, let him keep silent in church, and let him speak to himself and to God. Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others judge. But if anything is revealed to another who sits by, let the first keep silent. For you can all prophesy one by one, that all may learn and all may be encouraged. And the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets. For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church.
1. This passage teaches that a woman is to keep completely silent in the assembly.
2. She is not to utter a sound.
3. This would mean that it would be wrong for a woman to sing.
4. Furthermore, what if a woman did not have a husband? She would have no one to ask her questions!
5. We must ask, “Does is passage apply to us today?”
B. I have never attended an assembly like the one mentioned in the above passage.
1. I have never attended an assembly when someone spoke in a language they had never studied.
2. I have never observed on in the process of receiving a revelation.
3. I have never been to a service where there had to be an interpreter present who had the gift of interpretation.
4. Three classes of people are told to keep silent in this passage:
a) One who spoke in another tongue if there was not interpreter present.
b) A prophet who is speaking must be silent when another receives a revelation.
c) Women must keep silent.
5. Silent – sigao. To keep silent. To hold one’s peace.
6. This was an assembly different from any we will come across today.
7. These women who were told to ask their husbands questions at home would have been asking prophets! There was no need for them to worry about getting bad information.
C. Today, women are not commanded to be completely silent but to learn in submission. 1 Timothy 2:11.
Let a woman learn in silence with all submission.
1. “Silence” – hesuchia. Quietness. Tranquility arising from within. Causing no disturbance to others. Meek.
2. Does not mean that they are not to utter a sound.
3. A woman is not forbidden to ask a question as long as she is not disrupting the service or taking control of the service in doing so.
4. Furthermore, a woman today has the Bible available to her. Not true for those to whom Paul was writing in 1 Corinthians 14.
VI. Question Six – “what verse specifically tells the wife to love her husband and what Greek word is used?”
“In the Father’s Day sermon you closed saying wives are to respect and love their husbands. Other than the general commands for Christians to agape one another, what verse specifically tells the wife to love her husband and what Greek word is used?”
A. The verse I was thinking of was Titus 2:3-4.
The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children…
B. The Greek word that is used is philandros.
1. Comes from the Greek word for love, phileo. Which means tender affection.
2. And from Andros which means man or husband (implied when “wife” is used in context).
VII. Question Seven – “Cursing is wrong. What about euphemisms?”
“Cursing is wrong. What about phrases that most of us use like, “Oh shoot,” “Son of a gun,” “Holy cow,” etc. How can these be ok when you are meaning the same thing just substituting another word?”
A. You have a good question.
B. These phrases are called “euphemisms.”
1. Euphemism – a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt.
2. If you look up the word “shoot” you will see that it is a euphemism for a certain four letter word that also starts with “sh.”
a) Now, the word “shoot” is not wrong when you are using it in any other way.
b) But if you are saying it as a substitute for that other “s” word, then it is wrong.
3. Look up “heck.”
4. Look up “son of a gun.”
5. “Golly”
6. “Darn”
7. “Freakin” (I won’t even say it.)
8. All of these words are merely substitutes for more harsh words.
C. As Christians, we ought to refrain from using euphemisms.
VIII. “Is it wrong for a Christian family to put up a nativity scene at Christmas?”
A. In my mind, the one thing that sets the church of Christ apart from false churches is it’s view of the authority of the Scriptures.
1. Colossians 3:17. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
2. We understand that we must have authority for those things we practice.
3. We understand that the silence of the Scriptures does not authorize.
B. The Bible nowhere authorizes Christians to celebrate the birth of Jesus as a special holiday.
1. How can we claim to respect the authority of the Scriptures as a church but then promote a religious holiday that is not authorized?
2. This does not mean that we cannot celebrate Christmas as a simple national holiday.
3. But to attach religious significance to it is unauthorized.
C. Some claim to find authority in Romans 14:5-6.
One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it.
1. It seems a stretch to me to apply this passage to Christmas.
2. Nevertheless, some feel that this passage authorizes them to pick a day to celebrate Jesus’ birth as long as they don’t bind it on other people.
D. Is it wrong to set up a nativity scene?
1. At the very best, I believe it is very unwise.
2. At the worst, it could be sin for promoting an unscriptural holiday.
Content by Ralph Price
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Faith within the Family
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Introduction
1. As Christians, we are privileged to be members of God’s family…
a. With God as our Father in heaven
b. With Christ as our Elder Brother
c. With many fathers and mothers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters – cf. Mark 10:29-30
2. Even so, we also have duties as members of our human families…
a. As husbands and wives
b. As parents and children
c. As married and single
[What impact should our faith as Christians have on our physical families? What are our responsibilities as Christians who are blessed with familial relationships? Consider first…]
Body
I. THE CHRISTIAN AS HUSBAND AND FATHER
A. DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND…
1. Husbands are to love their wives – Ephesians 5:25-29
a. As Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her
b. As their own bodies, nourishing and cherishing them
2. Husbands are to leave mother and father – Ephesians 5:31
a. Leaving parents to be joined to one’s wife
b. The husband therefore gives his wife priority over his parents
3. Husbands are not to be bitter toward their wives – Colossians 3:19
a. “do not be harsh with them” – Colossians 3:19 ESV
b. “never treat them harshly” – Colossians 3:19 NRSV
4. Husbands are to be understanding and give honor to their wives – 1 Peter 3:7
a. Understanding their delicate nature
b. Honoring them as heirs together of the grace of life
B. DUTIES OF THE FATHER…
1. To provide the necessities of life – 2 Corinthians 12:14; 1 Timothy 5:8
a. Parents ought to provide for their children
b. A man who fails to do so is worse than an infidel
2. Not to provoke the children to wrath – Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21
a. That is, by unreasonable commands; by needless severity; by the manifestation of anger
b. Lest, by your continually finding fault with them, they should lose all courage, and despair of ever pleasing you
3. To provide for spiritual training of the children – Ephesians 6:4
a. Bringing them up in the training (discipline, Ephesians 6:4 ESV) of the Lord
b. Bringing them up in the admonition (instruction, Ephesians 6:4 ESV) of the Lord
4. To provide loving discipline as necessary – Hebrews 12:6-11; Proverbs 13:24
a. Even as our Heavenly Father disciplines His children
b. Though it may be unpleasant at the moment
[Such are familial responsibilities of Christian men as husbands and fathers. Now let’s consider…]
II. THE CHRISTIAN AS WIFE AND MOTHER
A. DUTIES OF THE WIFE…
1. Wives are to submit to their husbands – Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-2
a. As to the Lord, as is fitting in the Lord
b. In everything, as the church is subject to Christ
2. Wives are to respect and love their husbands – Ephesians 5:33; Titus 2:4
a. Not just to submit, but to do so with respect and love for their husbands
b. Which older women should teach the younger women
B. DUTIES OF THE MOTHER…
1. To love their children – Titus 2:4
a. Which ought to be natural
b. Yet sin can lead to a lack of proper affection – cf. Romans 1:31
2. To manage the household – Titus 2:5; 1 Timothy 5:14
a. The primary responsibility of the wife and mother
b. Though a woman may also engage in activities outside the home – cf. Proverbs 31:10-31
3. To provide spiritual training when male leadership is lacking – 2 Timothy 1:5; cf. Acts 16:1
a. Timothy’s mother and grandmother were believers
b. Evidently his father was not, which is too often the case today
[Such are the duties of Christian women as wives and mothers. Next let’s take a look at…]
III. THE CHRISTIAN AS CHILD AND SINGLE
A. DUTIES OF CHILDREN…
1. To obey their parents – Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20
a. In the Lord, for this is right
b. In all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord
2. To honor their parents – Ephesians 6:2-3
a. The first commandment with promise – cf. Exodus 20:12
b. By providing for their welfare in later years – cf. 1 Timothy 5:4, 8, 16
B. DUTIES OF THE SINGLE CHRISTIAN…
1. To utilize the advantage of being single – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
a. Use your freedom to increase your service to God
b. Don’t be selfish with the extra time and freedom you have
c. Don’t begrudge others who may not do as much as you because of their other responsibilities (e.g., children, spouse)
2. To watch out for the dangers of being single – cf. Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
a. Temptation – make an effort to develop a close relationship with the Lord
b. Loneliness – accept invitations to be with others, initiate opportunities to be with others
c. Self-centeredness – offer yourself in service to others; be flexible
3. To remember that you are in the family of God – Mark 10:29-30
a. You have many mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children
b. Make the effort to develop and utilize these relationships
[Finally, some remarks regarding discipleship as it relates to our familial relationships…]
IV. THE CHRISTIAN AS DISCIPLE
A. PUTTING THE LORD BEFORE THE FAMILY…
1. Of course, we are to love our parents, spouses and children
2. Yet our love for the Lord must come first – Matthew 10:34-37; 12: 46-50
a. Otherwise we are not worthy to be called His disciple
b. Only then will Jesus view us as members of His family
3. By putting God and His kingdom first, our families will benefit more – cf. Matthew 6:33
a. God’s providence will help provide for our families’ needs
b. We will also be better parents, spouses and children by following Jesus
B. PRESENTING THE LORD TO THE FAMILY…
1. By way of example – cf. 1 Peter 3:1-2
a. So wives were to influence their unbelieving husbands
b. So we can influence other unbelieving members of the family
2. By way of instruction – cf. Ephesians 6:4
a. So fathers were to instruct their children
b. So we can teach other members of the family
Conclusion
1. The nuclear family is a wonderful blessing, intended by God to consist of…
a. Husbands and wives who love and respect one another
b. Parents who love and discipline their children
c. Children who honor and obey their parents
2. As Christians, our familial duties are clear…
a. Whether as husbands or wives
b. Whether as parents or children
c. Whether as married or single
3. May our faith in Christ lead us to be the best spouses and parents, the best children and singles, we can possibly be
Content by Donald W. Treadway
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The Husband’s Duties – Ephesians 05:25-29
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Text: Ephesians 5:25-29
Introduction
1. Our previous lesson argued that marriage is not an institution
a. Created and designed by man or the state
b. Subject to alteration by societal whims
2. But rather, that marriage is a sacred institution
a. Instituted by God in the beginning
b. Regulated by Jesus and His apostles in the Word of God
c. Reserved for sexual intimacy between a man and a women
3. Indeed, marriage is a successful institution
a. When we follow the Biblical injunctions concerning it
b. When members of the family fulfill their proper roles
c. Preventing marriage and family from becoming an emotional and psychological straitjacket, the proverbial ball and chain, and source of much strife and hurt in one’s life
4. What are those Biblical injunctions concerning the proper roles?
Body
I. LOVE YOUR WIVES!
A. HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES
1. As Christ loved the church – Ephesians 5:25-27
a. He gave Himself for the church!
b. He nourishes and cherishes the church!
2. As they love their own bodies – Ephesians 5:28-29
a. Which they nourish and cherish
b. Which they handle with care
3. Free from bitterness – Colossians 3:19
a. That is, resentment or hate
b. Often accompanied with wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking – Ephesians 4:31
B. HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES
1. With “agape” love (active good will)
a. Which is commanded – Ephesians 5:25
b. Which is defined – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
c. The same sort of love we are to have toward God and all men
2. With “phileo” love (sentimental, affectionate)
a. As one would have for his own body – Ephesians 5:29
b. As parents would have for their children – Ephesians 6:4; 1 Thessalonians 2:7
3. With “eros” love (sexual)
a. Joining together as one flesh – Ephesians 5:31
b. Providing physical attention and affection due the wife – 1 Corinthians 7:2-5
4. Husbands have a duty to love their wives in every way!
II. RESPECT YOUR WIVES!
A. BY HOW YOU TREAT THEM
1. With understanding – 1 Peter 3:7
a. In an understanding way – 1 Peter 3:7 ESV
b. Be considerate – 1 Peter 3:7 NIV
c. Learn what makes her “tick”, and treat her accordingly
2. With honor – 1 Peter 3:7
a. Praise her in the gates – Proverbs 31:28
b. Put her on a pedestal
c. Do not ridicule her publicly
3. As to the weaker vessel – 1 Peter 3:7
a. Not that your wife may actually be the weaker vessel
b. Many wives are spiritually stronger, some physically stronger
c. But treat her “as” a weaker vessel (treat her like china, not steel)
B. BY HOW YOU VIEW THEM
1. As a fellow heir of the grace of life – 1 Peter 3:7
a. For whom Christ died
b. A beloved sister in Christ, worthy of respect
c. With whom you hope to spend eternity
2. As one who affects the efficacy of your prayers! – 1 Peter 3:7
a. How we treat others has a bearing on our prayers – Mark 11:26; Proverbs 21:13
b. God will not heed our prayers if we mistreat our wives! – Malachi 2:13-16
III. SUPPORT YOUR WIVES!
A. BY PROVIDING FOR THE FAMILY
1. The husband (and father) has the duty to provide for his family – 1 Timothy 5:8
2. Failure to do so is to deny the faith (the doctrine of Christ!) – ibid.
3. Unbelievers (and most creatures) provide for their own
4. A man should not take a wife unless he is willing and able to support her financially
B. BY LETTING HER CONTRIBUTE
1. The virtuous woman contributed much to the support of the family – Proverbs 31:16-19,24
2. A wise husband lets her contribute, and to be praised for it! – Proverbs 31:31
3. Of course, not to the neglect of her familial duties – Proverbs 31:21,27; 1 Timothy 5:14; Titus 2:4-5
Conclusion
1. The Christian husband is a man who
a. Loves his wife in every way
b. Respects his wife by how he treats her and views her
c. Supports his wife financially, emotionally, and spiritually
2. This is because the Christian husband is a man who
a. Is a Christian first, and a husband second
b. Gladly accepts the Biblical injunctions given to him as a husband
c. Looks to the Word of God and prayer for the strength he needs to fulfill his duty
3. When a man is a Christian husband
a. He is more likely loved and respected by his wife
b. She is more likely the sort of wife she should be
c. The children are more likely as they should be
4. In our next lesson, we shall consider the duties of wives.
Content by Donald W. Treadway
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Wisdom Regarding Marriage – Ecclesiastes 09:09
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Text: Ecclesiastes 9:9
Introduction
1. In this study, we will consider what it says about being a good spouse
2. The importance of this subject should be evident
a. Happiness in life is greatly affected by how successful we are in marriage
b. Even our usefulness to the Lord is affected by the relationship between husbands and wives
c. For example, a husband’s prayers can be hindered by his treatment of his wife
– Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7
3. Appreciating the importance of a good marriage, let’s begin with that beautiful passage in Proverbs 31:10-31.
Body
I. THE VIRTUOUS WIFE
A. THE IDEAL WIFE
1. Trustworthy – Proverbs 31:11
a. The husband can safely entrust her with his income
b. She will not squander what he gives her, but use it in a manner that benefits them both
2. Filled with an enduring love – Proverbs 31:12
a. Devoted to doing her husband good all her life
b. Just as she vowed in the wedding ceremony
3. Has practical skills – Proverbs 31:13-15, 21-22
a. Such as sewing
b. And cooking
4. Industrious – Proverbs 31:16, 24
a. Makes investments (buys land and plants a vineyard)
b. Provides extra income (makes clothing and sells to merchants)
5. Compassionate – Proverbs 31:20
a. Helping the poor
b. Reaching out to the needy
6. Strong character – Proverbs 31:25
a. Character matters, and she has developed a strong one
b. Just as Peter stressed in 1 Peter 3:3-4
7. Speaks words of wisdom and kindness – Proverbs 31:26
a. She is thus concerned about what proceeds from her mouth
b. Just as Paul stressed in Ephesians 4:29
8. Diligently sees to her family’s need – Proverbs 31:27
a. Makes whatever preparation necessary – cf. Proverbs 31:15
b. So that her family does not go in want – cf. Proverbs 31:21
9. Fears the Lord – Proverbs 31:29-30
a. She understands that this quality is more important and praiseworthy than physical beauty
b. With the fear of the Lord, she has the potential for great wisdom – Proverbs 1:7
10. Such are the qualities of being a good spouse
B. WHAT A WIFE DOES NOT WANT TO BE
1. Contentious:
– Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. – Proverbs 21:9
– Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman. – Proverbs 21:19
2. Hateful:
– For three things the earth is perturbed, Yes, for four it cannot bear up: for a servant when he reigns, A fool when he is filled with food, a hateful woman when she is married, And a maidservant who succeeds her mistress. – Proverbs 30:21-23
3. Both make it where the husband does not want to be around her
[Enough about being a good wife; where can we go in Proverbs to learn about being a good husband…?]
II. THE VIRTUOUS HUSBAND
A. WHERE’S THE PASSAGE DESCRIBING THE VIRTUOUS MAN…?
1. A question often raised by women, sometimes suggesting there is none
2. But, bear in mind that the Proverbs are primarily addressed to the man!
a. There is half a chapter describing the virtuous woman
b. There are thirty plus chapters describing the virtuous man!
3. The entire book, if followed, produces a husband any woman would love
B. THE IDEAL HUSBAND
1. Values his wife highly:
– He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD. – Proverbs 18:22
– Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD. – Proverbs 19:14
a. He realizes that she is a gift from God
b. Especially when she proves to be prudent
2. Gives his wife her due:
– Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:31
a. Allows his wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities
b. Lets her reap the benefits of her own labors
c. i.e., does not treat her simply as an appendage of himself
3. Praises his wife profusely:
– Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” – Proverbs 31:28-29
a. Praises her frequently
b. Does not take her for granted
4. Trusts his wife implicitly:
– The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. – Proverbs 31:11
a. Demonstrates a willingness to trust her
b. In such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities
c. Is not jealous or suspicious
5. Content with his wife’s love – Proverbs 5:15-21 READ
a. Does not look elsewhere
b. Will save him and his family much harm
6. A few examples of how Proverbs can help a man be a good spouse
Conclusion
1. So much of the joy and meaning of life that God would have us enjoy is lost if there is not a good marriage
2. As Solomon wrote in another book of wisdom
– Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 9:9
Content by Donald W. Treadway
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