What Can I Do To Make My Marriage Happy

The best advice on how to make a happy marriage is in the New Testament.

Although most people in troubled relationships look elsewhere, some of the best advice on how to have a happy marriage can be found in the New Testament. The one passage that says the most on marriage is Ephesians 5:22-33. In its entirety, the passage reads as follows:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave him-self for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In these verses, Paul discussed Christ’s relationship with His church, but to make his point he revealed many inspired facts about how the husband and wife relationship is sup-posed to work in marriage. He declared that the husband is to be the “head” of the wife, in the same way that Christ is the “head” of the church (Ephesians 5:23). In His role as the Head of the church, Jesus provides for its needs (Matthew 6:33), leads it in the way it ought to go (1 Peter 2:21), and strives to keep it from falling apart (John 17:20-21). These are the same responsibilities that God has placed upon husbands, in a marriage relationship. A husband must provide for the needs of his wife (2 Timothy 5:8). He must take the lead, in guiding his family down the right spiritual path (Ephesians 6:4). He must be diligent in doing all that he can do to promote unity and harmony of his home (Matthew 19:6b). Note that Bible does not indicate, in any passage, that husbands are to be the dictators of their homes, oppressing their wives and children into submission. Some have attempted to us the Bible to justify abusive behavior, but the Bible offers no such justification. The truth is that, in today’s world, many marriages fail, because of husbands who neglect their responsibilities as the “head” of the home.

Paul also stressed that husbands are to “love” their wives, in the same way that Christ “loved” the church, pointing out that He “gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus’ love for the church was pure, absolute, and unconditional. So must a husband’s love be for his wife (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Paul reminded husbands that the love they have for their wives ought to be in proportion to the love they have for themselves; indicating that the “golden rule” ought to be observed in marriage, as in life (Ephesians 5:28-29; Matthew 7:12). Love that sustains a marriage through the years is more than just a feeling. It is a commitment that creates a symbiotic bond, which makes it seem impossible for the husband to exist without the wife and vice versa.

Paul did admonish wives to “submit” to their husbands, in the same way that the church submits to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). This does not mean that women must adopt a subservient role in their homes and marriage, having no voice in how their families are run. As a matter of fact, in situations where the husband either cannot or will not fulfill his responsibilities as “head” of the house, the wife must step up and do what needs to be done. In doing so, she fulfills her role as “keeper” of the home (Titus 2:3-5). When a husband faithfully fulfills his role as the “head” of the home, his wife must recognize that he is acting in the best interests of the family, and “submit” to his leadership. In doing so, she fulfills her role as “an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). A wife is to be supportive of her husband’s leadership in the marriage and home. This is what it means for her to “reverence” her husband. If she does not give him the support he needs, then the home may be in danger of breaking apart.